Category Archives: the beauty of the in-between

.today.

Last weekend Olive was ordained in the United Church of Christ.  It was a really moving ceremony and such a good example of the way that people are truly called to things.  I cried like a baby.

My world has felt smaller and more full lately.  I think I’m in a paring-down phase – just give me the windows thrown open and a gentle breeze.  I’ve had the urge to throw lots of things away, just move some stuff out.  I do this every once in a while.  It’s a quiet time, a still time.  But I’m just riding it.  I wonder what I’m making room for.

I haven’t been writing much lately.  Just haven’t felt like it, haven’t felt inspired.  Not blocked, exactly, just – well, it probably goes hand-in-hand with the paring phase.  I’m just setting it down for a while.  Trying not to pressure myself into guilt about it.

I’ve been reading a lot more.  Trying to catch up on my sleep.  Last night we went out for dinner with Finn’s midwifery partner and her husband for their 11th anniversary.  They’re only a few years older than us, but we told them they’re our relationship role models, which is the truth.  They’re so obviously in love and solid and drama-free and they just genuinely enjoy one another.  They’re good people and have a great, close-knit family.  It’s pretty awesome to be around.  We went to a fancy-schmancy steakhouse (yeah, I had the steak) and spent way too much money and had a great time.  Worth it.

I feel really peaceful right now.  We just had brunch at our place with Cali and her lady, and Gem.  I feel so lucky to have friends who come over and bring all this random stuff that they have laying around their kitchens and create these delicious simple meals.  We had blueberry buckwheat waffles, an asparagus and bell pepper frittata, rosemary potatoes, bread, coffee.

Off to play the piano for a while…

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Filed under Cali, Finn, Gem, new leaf, Olive, sunshine, the beauty of the in-between

.happiness is two kinds of ice cream.

This is me.

Happy.  :)

Work is going well.  Really well, actually.  Chief Judge telling me “You’re already better than half the attorneys on staff and I think you should think seriously about becoming a Judge in a few years” kind of well.

The windows are open, the weather is gorgeous.  I hope it holds.  Finn and I splurged on some patio furniture for our deck, which should be arriving this week or next, and I am pumped.  I have this dream of waking up Saturday mornings, taking my tea onto the deck, and whiling away the day reading.  Also, we’re planning on lots of outdoor dinners, and it’ll be great when we have friends or family over.  We’ve been here for 7 months, but we’re finally getting into gear and making this place feel more like a home.

Finn’s brother and sister-in-law and the baby (who I should probably start referring to as “the toddler,” because (a) she walks and talks and (b) she’s SO TALL for her age) are coming in a few weeks.  I think one of my brothers and his girlfriend and her son (also young-but-not-a-baby) are coming in June.  July is my birthday.  We’ve got a wedding in late July, and another in early August to attend.  (What about our wedding, you ask?  Excellent question; no answers forthcoming.  We’ll get to it eventually, we’re in no rush.)  Anyway, what I mean to say is: there is a lot to look forward to.  Things are good.  I am happy.

Sometimes it’s hard to post when you’re happy – and busy – but I’m still here, alive and well.  Hoping the same for you, wherever you are!

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Filed under Finn, love, manythanks, marriage, new leaf, ohmygod i'm a lawyer, stuff pomegranates like, sunshine, the beauty of the in-between, The Fam

.home again home again.

OR,

Some Random Thoughts:

  • We’re back from Hawaii!  We had a fantastic time staying with Finn’s brother and sister-in-law and our baby niece (who, at a year old, perhaps can’t really be called a baby anymore, but…)  There was lots of beach and pool time, as well as a lot of cooking and eating and listening to music and hanging out and babysitting and family time.  We also learned pretty much every word to Ziggy Marley’s children’s album, to which the beebs is mildly addicted, and discovered that playing the Ting Tings on repeat and dancing with her is the only foolproof way to get her to nap when her Aunties are babysitting.  :)

Ziggy, playing my favorite song at the White House Easter Egg Roll

IMG_0504

Me squinting into the sun, as Finn attemps to make the picture Facebook-Inappropriate

(And yes, I’m still that pale, even after all the beach time)

  • Current addiction of the moment: Buffy.  Why didn’t I listen to everyone who told me that this series was amazing and I HAD to watch it like NOW???  It’s so cheesy and ridiculous, but also deals well with some pretty heavy stuff – I laugh, I cry, I oogle Sarah Michelle Gellar lookin’ good killin’ demons.  Aaaaand I may have just purchased the entire series off ebay despite the fact that I have no money.  I’m only halfway through Season 3 – and I will dropkick anyone who tries to give anything more away than what I’ve already picked up simply from having similarly-obsessed friends – but I can already tell this is one of those shows that’s going to go into heavy rotation on the DVD-as-TV lineup.  See also: Scrubs, Sex and the City, Arrested Development.  (Side note: my context for SMG all these years hasn’t been as Buffy, but as Kendall Hart on All My Children – yes, the ABC soap – to which I was addicted in middle school.  Apparently she manages to worm her way into several of my addictions.  Could that be because she’s AWESOME?  Is it apparent yet that I am nursing a major Buffy-crush?  Yes?  Good.)  Anyway, my advice: watch it.  Like NOW.
  • Calling all foodies: I want to learn to cook.  For those of you who don’t know me personally, this is kind of an epic statement.  As in, perhaps I should state it again in bold: I, pomegranate, want to learn to cook.  Please understand, I hate hate HATE cooking – I never do it, and, thanks to the fact that I’ve been lucky enough to have a series of girlfriends/roommates who enjoy cooking, I’ve never really had to.  But Finn is going out of town for 2 months beginning on Monday, so my options at this point seem to be cook, starve, or microwave everything.  For 2 months.  Bleh.  The former seems the only realistic option, and I suppose unemployment will ensure that I have plenty of time to look up recipes and try and make it work.  So.  If you have any recipes that are easy-for-beginners and delicious, consider this a polite solicitation of said recipes!  Feel free to leave suggestions in the comments or email me at pomegranateinkpen [at] gmail [dot] com.  No particular dietary restrictions, other than the fact that my stomach doesn’t particularly appreciate very spicy foods.  Whee!
  • Yes, you read that correctly, Finn is going out of town for two (2) MONTHS on Monday.  She’s off to do a baby-catching internship – a really amazing opportunity for her – that happens to be thousands of miles from here.  2,398 to be exact, not that I’m counting.  I am really thrilled for her that she has the opportunity, and she’s going to come back having learned so much and having had some really amazing experiences, but I’m still super bummed about the 2 months apart.  We’re going to Skype a lot, and we’ve got some plans in place to try and stay connected, and I know 2 months isn’t really that long in the grand scheme of things, but… particularly while unemployed, I think it’s going to feel like a long time.
  • I’ve decided to spend this time of unemployment getting back to some things I used to do often and lost somewhere along the way.  Like spending quiet time alone.  Like going on long walks.  And, most especially, like writing.  My soon-to-be-sister-in-law – that is, Finn’s sister-in-law – and I both love writing and don’t do it enough, so we cooked up a little plan to work together on goal-setting and holding one another accountable.  Of course, I’m unemployed and she has a 14 month old and a job, so obviously we’re going to be setting different goals, but I’m really excited about getting back to my Writing Self and dedicating some real time to her.  (This blog, I should note, is not really a place for my Writing Self.  I write here more like I would write in an email – I’m not exactly sure why, but this has never really felt like the kind of space where I can be creative as opposed to just journaling thoughts and events.  Well, I suppose I’ve thrown in the occasional poem or two, but overall that’s not really what this blog has turned out to be for me.  So it’ll be good to create a place for that part of me to live.)
  • It’s 2:30pm and I’m jet lagged and still in my jammies and definitely have errands to run.  So, off I go.

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Filed under budding foodie, Finn, girlcrush, lightning and a lightning bug, new leaf, sunshine, the beauty of the in-between, The Fam, vacation all i ever wanted, vidjas

.i build each one of my days out of hope.

I’ve had the line stuck in my head all day:

“I build each one of my days out of hope / and I give that hope your name…”

Oh, Ani.  Way to transport me back to college.

It’s fitting though, as I have been thinking a lot lately about hope and the future how to build the life I want to have.  This fit of introspection has been prompted by ye olde impending layoff, of course (you tired of hearing about that yet?  Because I’m tired of talking about it…) as well as the prospect of possibly moving, and more generally, the feeling that some Major Life Changes are shifting into high gear.  And while I would suspect myself of being the type to – how shall I say this – freak the fuck out about said Major Life Changes, I’ve surprised myself with the attitude I’ve so far adopted: somewhat zen Buddhist, a quiet acceptance, que sera sera and all that.  I’ve done all I can do, the rest is out of my hands.  In a way, this is freeing.  It’s not so bad, this whole letting go thing.

In fact, surprisingly, it feels like a moment brimming with opportunity.  How often do we get to start over?

Don’t get me wrong, not every day has been filled with this let-the-world-take-me-where-it-may feeling.  But overall, I have felt rather… hopeful.  I am convinced that I’ll end up where I ought to be, and I will learn from that place, and then I will move on.  In the meantime, I will try not to ruin this day with worry.  I will be where I am, and I’ll enjoy it while I’m here.

And really, the view could be worse.

::  we negotiate with chaos for some sense of satisfaction

if you won’t give it to me at least give me

a better view

come here

stand in front of the light

stand still

so I can see your silhouette

I hope

that you have got all night

cuz I’m not done looking

no I’m not done looking

yet.

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Filed under anticipation, quotables, the beauty of the in-between

.26 is the new something.

I turned 26 on the 4th.

Here’s hoping 26 is the new 25, because I LOVED being 25.  At 25 I passed the bar, got my first real job, and got engaged.  I also moved, went on trips, learned a lot, continued to settle in with Finn, and started this blog.  Any way I measure it, it was a fantastic year.

My birthday was pretty wonderful.  Finn was at a birth the whole time – this is the 2nd year in a row she’s missed my birthday – which was of course disappointing.  (She has promised me that she will NOT be on call on my birthday next year.  Sweet.)  But Gem threw me a fabulous party at her house, and there were lots of people there and lots of drinking and singing and playing Rock Band and grilling out and running around and funtimes.  I had wayyyyy too much of a delicious Southeast Asian sangria followed by a not-small amount of champagne with blueberries.  Luckily there was also so much food that despite the fact that I drank what felt like a few bathtubs full of alcohol, I managed to stay upright (and no hangover the next day – always a plus.)

pomegranate birthday

moment of reflection upon turning 26

:photo by QS:

Because of the drinking (&etc.), the whole night is this slightly incoherent joy-filled blur: the soft fizzle of fireworks that we could hear but not see; a Michael Jackson singalong; Gem and I standing, arms wrapped around one another, swaying; talking to my family, none of whom were even remotely convinced by my fairly pathetic attempt to play sober; the smell of charcoal; chocolate cake; a circle of laughing, singing people illuminated by candlelight.  It was a good birthday.

Sunday Finn and K & J and I went to the beach.  It was so beautiful, and Finn and I decided then and there that we were going to Hawaii again this year, layoffs and expenses and crazy schedules be damned.  Her mom offered to buy her plane ticket, and we can stay with her brother, so the expense isn’t nearly as much as it might run us otherwise.  We bought our tickets last night, and I am over the moon.

Sunday also got me pumped for my week-long trip to the NC beach at the end of this month.  It’ll be the first time I’ll have been to my grandma’s place at the beach in several years.  I spent every summer of my childhood there, and it holds so many memories for me.  I can’t wait to sit out on her dock, watch my dad and brother fish, listen to the waves, fall asleep to the sound of crickets.  Nothing is more peaceful.  (I say that glossing over the fact, of course, that my family – all 6 of us – plus my brother’s girlfriend and her 3 year old son, plus any friends my sister might bring, plus, obviously, my grandma, are all going to be crammed into her teensy beach cottage for a week.  Ah well, what’s one bathroom between 10 friends?  I’m so excited.)

On another note: I am way too fair for all this beachiness.  IIIIIIIIII might need to invest in another SPF surf shirt.  Worth it!

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Filed under anticipation, Finn, Gem, love, memories, new leaf, QS, Rev, sunshine, the beauty of the in-between, vacation all i ever wanted

.i love you.

No, really.  Spread the word.

I love you.

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Filed under the beauty of the in-between

.snow day, part the millionth.

This is the view from my front window:

outside

Brr.  And this is the view from my computer:

ophelia

My sweet, sweet (hairless) kitten Ophelia, curled up under the electric blanket on the couch, waiting out the snowstorm… s’too cold for her!

Hope you’re warm and snuggly, wherever you are…

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Filed under crazy cat lady: ur doin it rite, the beauty of the in-between