Category Archives: QS

.girl gone mild.

Today is one of Those Days.  I’ve got a major case of anxiety, which I’m tracing back to the earthquake in Haiti – natural disasters which devastate large groups of already-impoverished people inevitably lead to me to question why bad things happen, why things like this are out of our control, what we can do, why any sort of God or Universe or what have you would allow it.  BUT, because I can think of nothing more loathsome and offensive than whining about how an earthquake in Haiti has really ruined MY day, dammit, I’m gonna gather up all that anxiety into a tight little ball in my stomach, roll it around until it’s shiny and smooth, warm it up until it’s something good and hopeful, and offer it as a little glowing prayer for all the people who could use one of those right about now.

Oh, and I’m gonna donate.  (In case you haven’t heard, texting “HAITI” to 90999 will automatically donate $10 to the Red Cross; texting “YELE” to 501501 sends $5 to wyclef jean’s Yele Foundation; and if you go to the Red Cross website you can donate using your one-click Amazon setup if you have one.  Technology used for good, not evil.  Melikes.)

And though it seems somewhat crass to do a blah blah blah update when there are so many more important things happening in the world, I haven’t updated in about a month and this is the time I set aside for it, so.

I was at my parents’ house for Christmas this year.  It was really lovely, and I was blown away by the thoughtfulness of the gifts I received.  It seemed like my parents and siblings and I all really put a lot of thought into what we wanted to give/do for one another this year.  My parents got me a Connecticut Journal (newspaper) dated December 23, 1793 featuring articles by George Washington and John Adams… I almost couldn’t breathe when I opened it.  (My initial response, actually, was to scream, “WHY DO YOU KEEP BUYING ME NICE THINGS?!?!?!  I DO NOT FEEL ADULT ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF A RELIC OF AMERICAN HISTORY!!!”)

(I’ve since calmed, and discovered that all I really need to do is frame it on archival quality matboard and under special UV-protectant glass.  Phew.)  But yea, fucking amazing gift.

I also received the Lomo LC-A+ I’d been lusting after, and – hilariously – a still-functional Teddy Ruxpin, which my mom found for me on ebay in order to shut me up, because I’ve been complaining to her since I was five years old that I never had one even though my cousin did.  (We couldn’t afford one when I was a kid… and I’ll tell you, I wept countless bitter tears over that fact, as only a particularly dramatic elementary-schooler can.)  Thankfully, this gift means that my own children will never have to experience the privation of going through life without an animatronic talking bear around to tell them stories before bedtime.

New Years Eve was spent in fairly pathetic fashion, hanging out at home with my parents.  (Not that it’s pathetic to hang out with one’s parents, but y’know, I’m 26 years old and I nearly fell asleep before the ball dropped.  So.  Loserville.  That’s all I’m saying.)  We were supposed to spend NYE nestled up in a cabin in the mountains, but alas, there was a snowpocalypse which left an icy residue 6 inches thick on the driveway leading to said cabin, so it was a no-go.  All my siblings spent the evening out on the town with their significant others, so it was just me and the ‘rents.  I think my mom and I watched a House marathon until about 11:55 – or was it an SVU marathon?  I don’t know, so many marathons – and then we all drank a little champagne and went to bed.

Though not before I made my typically long list of resolutions, of course.  While I have made a habit of sharing my resolutions in the past (in other, earlier reincarnations of this blog) I’ve had the resultant experience of being roundly mocked for them by, ahem, some.  (Yea, I’m looking at you, Grant.)  Do some of them tend to be a little overly-earnest?  Sure – but then, so do I.  In any case, they pretty much come down to one thing, which I guess is kinda my theme for the year: Fuck Being Comfortable.  So.  We’ll see how that goes.

A few days after New Years, I flew back home, lil sis in tow.  As you may recall, Sis was supposed to come visit me for a week following her high school graduation last spring, but was waylaid by a two-week-long hospital stay. So, this was sort of her make up trip.  Because of school, she could only stay for 4 full days, but we had a great time.  We went to museums, I took her to see Wicked, we lounged around baking cookies and drinking hot chocolate… it was equal parts fun and relaxing.  She and I don’t get to spend all that much time together – she was only 10 when I moved away to go to college, and we haven’t lived in the same city since – so it was nice to get some one-on-one sister time in.  Unfortunately, Finn was away at school for most of the week, but they got to do a little last minute bonding as well.

What else what else what else…  Oh!  I saw Avatar in IMAX 3-D, which was fantastic.  It was much more subtle than most 3-D movies I’ve seen (with the notable exception of Coraline, which was the first I’d seen that didn’t try and constantly bombard you with gimmicks, Jack-in-the-Box style, but instead used the technology to gentle, scene-enhancing effect).  Avatar’s story was so-so – kind of a Pocahontas meets Fern Gully in Space thing, with no real surprises – but it was just so pretty.  My pal @samfeasor does a much better job of dissecting it here (“Why Avatar Didn’t Suck Like I Thought it Would”) for anyone who’s interested in reading her queer, gamer-girl, tech-savvy take on the whole thing.

And so that pretty much brings us up to this week.  Finn is still out of town for school, but she got called back for a birth Monday night, and we had time for a quick lunch yesterday afternoon before she had to head back.  I had seen her two days earlier, over the weekend, but there’s something nice about seeing someone special when it’s unexpected.  I got all googily.

Last night I hung out with QS.  We’ve been going through some stuff, friendship-wise, finally working out some unspoken shit we’ve been carrying around for too long, and we’re making a more concerted effort to spend good quality time together as a result of that work.  Last night we cooked dinner and drank too much wine (or I did, anyway) and had an impromptu dance party in her living room.  It was a good night.  I only wish there were pictures…

This week I’m hanging out with Gem, writing, running a million errands, and getting the house ready for K&J, who are visiting for the weekend.  I think I’m going to have to give them better names, they show up in this blog more than I’d anticipated.  Hmm.  Okay.  I dub them Bert and Ernie.  (Everyone knows Bert and Ernie were gay, right?  It’s perfect!)  Ha.

– Pomegranate, Whose heart is still sad

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Filed under @samfeasor, anxiety, Finn, Gem, Grant, manythanks, memories, nerdiness, new leaf, QS, The Fam

.my arm hurts.

4 days ago I went to the doctor and had blood drawn.  It didn’t hurt when the guy actually put the needle in and drew the blood, but about a minute after he was done my arm seized up and started REALLY hurting.  I’m kind of a wimp, so this made me lightheaded and stressed that I wouldn’t be able to drive home, but after sitting outside my car with my head between my knees for about 20 minutes, I was okay – just couldn’t use my right arm.  My muscles were weak and it hurt to even move it.  I’m not sure why I didn’t go back in and talk to the doctor about it, but it seemed like something that would pass.

Four days later and it’s still aching, like, wake me up in the middle of the night aching.  Grr.  Finn says, based on my bruise and the pain, that the guy must have both blown my vein and hit a nerve or a tendon in the process.  This, I have discovered, does not make for a very happy pom.  In fact, it makes for kind of a grumpy, wince-y pom.

So that’s this weekend’s news.  Also, I saw A Serious Man last night with Cali and some folks.  No one I was there with liked it much, but I thought it was pretty good.  Dark, kinda depressing, but in a funny way.  (I mean, it is the Coen brothers.)  The very last image of the movie was really striking, hit on a very kind of primal fear, so I think that at least is going to stick with me for a while.

Before the movie we had dinner, where I managed not only to learn what curling is (i.e. one of the funniest sports I’ve ever seen…  the brooms, are you kidding me?) but to impress people with my extensive knowledge of both Twilight and Miley Cyrus.  It’s amazing the things that seep into your consciousness while you aren’t looking.  (Though, to be fair, I did make the choice to read all of the Twilight books, but I stand by that decision as it has afforded me the ability to critique the shit out of it using ACTUAL examples instead of the more common I-hate-what-teenyboppers-love critique heard elsewhere.  Also, they’re incredibly easy to read.)

Today was gorgeous.  I had brunch with QS and I’m kind of regretting that we didn’t sit outside on one of the very last nice days before our long New England winter hits.  I had this vague idea that we might go for a walk, but instead we went to my place and watched several episodes of Buffy.  We finished season 5, in fact.  Crazy.  (It was pointed out to me, yesterday, by Cali, that I am kind of dating Buffy in Finn’s absence.  I figure if a fictional vampire slayer is all she has to worry about, we’re doing okay.)  :)

Anyway.  Wish I’d been outside more, but we did have the windows open, so…

Oh!  The weekend’s other news is that after purchasing many (many) plane and train tickets, I am officially going to DC for Rev’s birthday, then to Philly for Thanksgiving, and down south for Christmas.  Grant – who’s in DC doing an internship at the moment, coincidentally enough – and I already have plans to take a ton of ridiculous pictures.  This has renewed my lust for a particular  camera I have my eye on but probably wouldn’t use enough to warrant buying it, sigh.  (Something you may or may not know about me: I have a tendency to lust after strange things sometimes – these are another current fascination – and if the lustiness lasts long enough, I end up caving and buying.  Hence, these, which are, I must say, awesome.)

Okay, I’m babbling.  I should go figure out dinner.  Which, by the by, I have been successfully cooking!  I’m no chef, but I’ve got some staples down and my kitchen confidence is up.  So far so good.

Off I go!

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Filed under budding foodie, Cali, Finn, girlcrush, Grant, nerdiness, QS, Rev, stuff pomegranates like, sunshine, vacation all i ever wanted, WTF

.join the circus?.

So, turns out if I can’t be a public interest attorney, apparently I don’t want to be an attorney at all.  It literally took one monster.com search for me to figure out that there is not a single legal job out there unrelated to public interest that I am even remotely interested in.  More than that: the thought of working at any of them makes me slightly queasy.  At least I know what my calling is, I suppose.  No idea what to do in the meantime but apply and see where the universe takes me.

You know how in the beginning of Lois Lowry’s “The Giver” Jonas is searching for the right word to describe his feelings?  That pretty much sums up my last few weeks.  I’m not… and I’m not quite… maybe I’m… no…

Jonas ends up settling on apprehensive. Discombobulated might be the best fit for me.  I’m all over the place, a little lost, not unhappy, just unsettled.

The past few weeks have been some of the strangest in recent memory – I’m a Cancer, and we very much prize our routine, place great value in our surroundings being orderly and serene.  That’s all out the window, obviously, but I’m working hard to take it in stride.  I haven’t cried once since we moved, in fact.  And I’ve been sleeping well (though waking at ungodly early hours.  I think it’s because we finally live in a place that isn’t shrouded in tree-shade – the sight of the sun whispers me into consciousness each morning.  It’s not a bad thing).

This must be what it feels like to be caught by a safety net.  I’ll take discombobulated over homeless any day of the week.

I am very lucky.

We’re moved in, getting a little closer to settled on the homefront every day.  So the pictures are being hung, the laundry folded, and the kittens are adjusting.  I had brunch yesterday with Cali, dinner with QS.  Tomorrow I’m having coffee with Grant (so nicknamed for the Civil War general, and I hope he appreciates it) who I haven’t seen in forever and who is moving to DC soon as part of the mass exodus to the District which seems to be happening in the last few years.  Among my pals, anyway.  He has requested some sort of crazy adventure that I can later blog about.

Because obviously my blog is so full of adventure!  Laundry!  First-time unemployment!  What will she do next, ladies and gentlemen?!?  :)

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Filed under anxiety, Cali, Grant, manythanks, new leaf, QS, sunshine

.26 is the new something.

I turned 26 on the 4th.

Here’s hoping 26 is the new 25, because I LOVED being 25.  At 25 I passed the bar, got my first real job, and got engaged.  I also moved, went on trips, learned a lot, continued to settle in with Finn, and started this blog.  Any way I measure it, it was a fantastic year.

My birthday was pretty wonderful.  Finn was at a birth the whole time – this is the 2nd year in a row she’s missed my birthday – which was of course disappointing.  (She has promised me that she will NOT be on call on my birthday next year.  Sweet.)  But Gem threw me a fabulous party at her house, and there were lots of people there and lots of drinking and singing and playing Rock Band and grilling out and running around and funtimes.  I had wayyyyy too much of a delicious Southeast Asian sangria followed by a not-small amount of champagne with blueberries.  Luckily there was also so much food that despite the fact that I drank what felt like a few bathtubs full of alcohol, I managed to stay upright (and no hangover the next day – always a plus.)

pomegranate birthday

moment of reflection upon turning 26

:photo by QS:

Because of the drinking (&etc.), the whole night is this slightly incoherent joy-filled blur: the soft fizzle of fireworks that we could hear but not see; a Michael Jackson singalong; Gem and I standing, arms wrapped around one another, swaying; talking to my family, none of whom were even remotely convinced by my fairly pathetic attempt to play sober; the smell of charcoal; chocolate cake; a circle of laughing, singing people illuminated by candlelight.  It was a good birthday.

Sunday Finn and K & J and I went to the beach.  It was so beautiful, and Finn and I decided then and there that we were going to Hawaii again this year, layoffs and expenses and crazy schedules be damned.  Her mom offered to buy her plane ticket, and we can stay with her brother, so the expense isn’t nearly as much as it might run us otherwise.  We bought our tickets last night, and I am over the moon.

Sunday also got me pumped for my week-long trip to the NC beach at the end of this month.  It’ll be the first time I’ll have been to my grandma’s place at the beach in several years.  I spent every summer of my childhood there, and it holds so many memories for me.  I can’t wait to sit out on her dock, watch my dad and brother fish, listen to the waves, fall asleep to the sound of crickets.  Nothing is more peaceful.  (I say that glossing over the fact, of course, that my family – all 6 of us – plus my brother’s girlfriend and her 3 year old son, plus any friends my sister might bring, plus, obviously, my grandma, are all going to be crammed into her teensy beach cottage for a week.  Ah well, what’s one bathroom between 10 friends?  I’m so excited.)

On another note: I am way too fair for all this beachiness.  IIIIIIIIII might need to invest in another SPF surf shirt.  Worth it!

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Filed under anticipation, Finn, Gem, love, memories, new leaf, QS, Rev, sunshine, the beauty of the in-between, vacation all i ever wanted

.did you know?.

Apologies for the lack of posting lately – I’ve been alternately exhausted and avoiding the internet.  However, saw this video today and it kind of blew my mind (and explained both why I feel like I might have ADD, and also why I often feel much less intelligent and capable than my forebears):

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Kind of mind-boggling, yes?  Makes me feel slightly overwhelmed, but a little better for not being as well-versed in lifethings as I feel I ought.  Who could know all that, right?  (She tells herself…)

Anywho, I digress.   What have you missed, what have you missed…  well, last week was insanity.  Had a brief due by Friday afternoon that took over my life, though in the end it was actually pretty fun to write.  (It was an appeal of an Administrative Law Judge’s decision, and it was easily one of the worst-written decisions I’ve ever seen.  Also, the Judge inserted snarky footnotes throughout, several of which blatantly insulted the Decision Review Board, to whom I was addressing my appeal.  Good times.)

Weekend was fabulous.  We’re finally getting some decent weather ’round these parts – I’m pointedly ignoring next week’s forecast of ice/snow early in the week – and I spent most of Saturday outside.  First I went to the local library and got a library card, because I’ve been recycling books on my bookshelf lately and am desperate for some new material.  After that, however, I went on a hike with QS (who I haven’t mentioned here yet because we’ve not been hanging out as much since I moved out of the city proper…) and had a picnic.  We also ran errands (yay new watch!) and – because we are eerily suburban at times – skipped around a mall for a while.  (Tried on some hipster clothes while we were there.  My first pair of skinny jeans.  No, I did not buy, I could never pull that look off, but it did lead to some hysterical laughing in the Forever 21 dressing room.  Aannnnnnnd there’s a sentence I hope to never type again.)

Sunday I spent most of the day in my PJs, in bed, reading and watching movies.  I needed some recovery time following the week of insanity (and the excursion into Forever 21).  That evening, went on a fabulous dogwalk with Cali, and then off to dinner with @samfeasor, my old roommate, whom I adore and don’t see often enough.  (She gets that nickname for being a twitter addict… and for the record, I blame my own addiction on her, because I wouldn’t even know twitter existed if it weren’t for her.)

Wow I’m rambling.  That’s what you really missed, eh?  :P

This week is looking less crazy than last, thankfully.  I spent about 4 hours at the local Social Security office today, because beauracracy is slow and stupid and doesn’t care that I have better things to do.  I was super grumpy when I got back to my office, but then I checked my mailbox and saw that I got a favorable decision for one of my clients who DESPERATELY needed the benefits, so – just like that! – life was good again.

Now if only Finn would come home… Cali mocked me for being so vocal about missing her, but honestly, things are just better when she’s around.  It’s not like I’m a pile of jello when she’s gone – can we talk about how I’m actually cooking for myself, which was previously unheard of?!?!? – but there’s a reason I want to spend the rest of my life with this girl.  She lights me up.

3 more days…

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Filed under @samfeasor, anticipation, Cali, Finn, ohmygod i'm a lawyer, QS, sunshine, vidjas