Category Archives: nerdiness

.girl gone mild.

Today is one of Those Days.  I’ve got a major case of anxiety, which I’m tracing back to the earthquake in Haiti – natural disasters which devastate large groups of already-impoverished people inevitably lead to me to question why bad things happen, why things like this are out of our control, what we can do, why any sort of God or Universe or what have you would allow it.  BUT, because I can think of nothing more loathsome and offensive than whining about how an earthquake in Haiti has really ruined MY day, dammit, I’m gonna gather up all that anxiety into a tight little ball in my stomach, roll it around until it’s shiny and smooth, warm it up until it’s something good and hopeful, and offer it as a little glowing prayer for all the people who could use one of those right about now.

Oh, and I’m gonna donate.  (In case you haven’t heard, texting “HAITI” to 90999 will automatically donate $10 to the Red Cross; texting “YELE” to 501501 sends $5 to wyclef jean’s Yele Foundation; and if you go to the Red Cross website you can donate using your one-click Amazon setup if you have one.  Technology used for good, not evil.  Melikes.)

And though it seems somewhat crass to do a blah blah blah update when there are so many more important things happening in the world, I haven’t updated in about a month and this is the time I set aside for it, so.

I was at my parents’ house for Christmas this year.  It was really lovely, and I was blown away by the thoughtfulness of the gifts I received.  It seemed like my parents and siblings and I all really put a lot of thought into what we wanted to give/do for one another this year.  My parents got me a Connecticut Journal (newspaper) dated December 23, 1793 featuring articles by George Washington and John Adams… I almost couldn’t breathe when I opened it.  (My initial response, actually, was to scream, “WHY DO YOU KEEP BUYING ME NICE THINGS?!?!?!  I DO NOT FEEL ADULT ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE OF A RELIC OF AMERICAN HISTORY!!!”)

(I’ve since calmed, and discovered that all I really need to do is frame it on archival quality matboard and under special UV-protectant glass.  Phew.)  But yea, fucking amazing gift.

I also received the Lomo LC-A+ I’d been lusting after, and – hilariously – a still-functional Teddy Ruxpin, which my mom found for me on ebay in order to shut me up, because I’ve been complaining to her since I was five years old that I never had one even though my cousin did.  (We couldn’t afford one when I was a kid… and I’ll tell you, I wept countless bitter tears over that fact, as only a particularly dramatic elementary-schooler can.)  Thankfully, this gift means that my own children will never have to experience the privation of going through life without an animatronic talking bear around to tell them stories before bedtime.

New Years Eve was spent in fairly pathetic fashion, hanging out at home with my parents.  (Not that it’s pathetic to hang out with one’s parents, but y’know, I’m 26 years old and I nearly fell asleep before the ball dropped.  So.  Loserville.  That’s all I’m saying.)  We were supposed to spend NYE nestled up in a cabin in the mountains, but alas, there was a snowpocalypse which left an icy residue 6 inches thick on the driveway leading to said cabin, so it was a no-go.  All my siblings spent the evening out on the town with their significant others, so it was just me and the ‘rents.  I think my mom and I watched a House marathon until about 11:55 – or was it an SVU marathon?  I don’t know, so many marathons – and then we all drank a little champagne and went to bed.

Though not before I made my typically long list of resolutions, of course.  While I have made a habit of sharing my resolutions in the past (in other, earlier reincarnations of this blog) I’ve had the resultant experience of being roundly mocked for them by, ahem, some.  (Yea, I’m looking at you, Grant.)  Do some of them tend to be a little overly-earnest?  Sure – but then, so do I.  In any case, they pretty much come down to one thing, which I guess is kinda my theme for the year: Fuck Being Comfortable.  So.  We’ll see how that goes.

A few days after New Years, I flew back home, lil sis in tow.  As you may recall, Sis was supposed to come visit me for a week following her high school graduation last spring, but was waylaid by a two-week-long hospital stay. So, this was sort of her make up trip.  Because of school, she could only stay for 4 full days, but we had a great time.  We went to museums, I took her to see Wicked, we lounged around baking cookies and drinking hot chocolate… it was equal parts fun and relaxing.  She and I don’t get to spend all that much time together – she was only 10 when I moved away to go to college, and we haven’t lived in the same city since – so it was nice to get some one-on-one sister time in.  Unfortunately, Finn was away at school for most of the week, but they got to do a little last minute bonding as well.

What else what else what else…  Oh!  I saw Avatar in IMAX 3-D, which was fantastic.  It was much more subtle than most 3-D movies I’ve seen (with the notable exception of Coraline, which was the first I’d seen that didn’t try and constantly bombard you with gimmicks, Jack-in-the-Box style, but instead used the technology to gentle, scene-enhancing effect).  Avatar’s story was so-so – kind of a Pocahontas meets Fern Gully in Space thing, with no real surprises – but it was just so pretty.  My pal @samfeasor does a much better job of dissecting it here (“Why Avatar Didn’t Suck Like I Thought it Would”) for anyone who’s interested in reading her queer, gamer-girl, tech-savvy take on the whole thing.

And so that pretty much brings us up to this week.  Finn is still out of town for school, but she got called back for a birth Monday night, and we had time for a quick lunch yesterday afternoon before she had to head back.  I had seen her two days earlier, over the weekend, but there’s something nice about seeing someone special when it’s unexpected.  I got all googily.

Last night I hung out with QS.  We’ve been going through some stuff, friendship-wise, finally working out some unspoken shit we’ve been carrying around for too long, and we’re making a more concerted effort to spend good quality time together as a result of that work.  Last night we cooked dinner and drank too much wine (or I did, anyway) and had an impromptu dance party in her living room.  It was a good night.  I only wish there were pictures…

This week I’m hanging out with Gem, writing, running a million errands, and getting the house ready for K&J, who are visiting for the weekend.  I think I’m going to have to give them better names, they show up in this blog more than I’d anticipated.  Hmm.  Okay.  I dub them Bert and Ernie.  (Everyone knows Bert and Ernie were gay, right?  It’s perfect!)  Ha.

– Pomegranate, Whose heart is still sad

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Filed under @samfeasor, anxiety, Finn, Gem, Grant, manythanks, memories, nerdiness, new leaf, QS, The Fam

.my arm hurts.

4 days ago I went to the doctor and had blood drawn.  It didn’t hurt when the guy actually put the needle in and drew the blood, but about a minute after he was done my arm seized up and started REALLY hurting.  I’m kind of a wimp, so this made me lightheaded and stressed that I wouldn’t be able to drive home, but after sitting outside my car with my head between my knees for about 20 minutes, I was okay – just couldn’t use my right arm.  My muscles were weak and it hurt to even move it.  I’m not sure why I didn’t go back in and talk to the doctor about it, but it seemed like something that would pass.

Four days later and it’s still aching, like, wake me up in the middle of the night aching.  Grr.  Finn says, based on my bruise and the pain, that the guy must have both blown my vein and hit a nerve or a tendon in the process.  This, I have discovered, does not make for a very happy pom.  In fact, it makes for kind of a grumpy, wince-y pom.

So that’s this weekend’s news.  Also, I saw A Serious Man last night with Cali and some folks.  No one I was there with liked it much, but I thought it was pretty good.  Dark, kinda depressing, but in a funny way.  (I mean, it is the Coen brothers.)  The very last image of the movie was really striking, hit on a very kind of primal fear, so I think that at least is going to stick with me for a while.

Before the movie we had dinner, where I managed not only to learn what curling is (i.e. one of the funniest sports I’ve ever seen…  the brooms, are you kidding me?) but to impress people with my extensive knowledge of both Twilight and Miley Cyrus.  It’s amazing the things that seep into your consciousness while you aren’t looking.  (Though, to be fair, I did make the choice to read all of the Twilight books, but I stand by that decision as it has afforded me the ability to critique the shit out of it using ACTUAL examples instead of the more common I-hate-what-teenyboppers-love critique heard elsewhere.  Also, they’re incredibly easy to read.)

Today was gorgeous.  I had brunch with QS and I’m kind of regretting that we didn’t sit outside on one of the very last nice days before our long New England winter hits.  I had this vague idea that we might go for a walk, but instead we went to my place and watched several episodes of Buffy.  We finished season 5, in fact.  Crazy.  (It was pointed out to me, yesterday, by Cali, that I am kind of dating Buffy in Finn’s absence.  I figure if a fictional vampire slayer is all she has to worry about, we’re doing okay.)  :)

Anyway.  Wish I’d been outside more, but we did have the windows open, so…

Oh!  The weekend’s other news is that after purchasing many (many) plane and train tickets, I am officially going to DC for Rev’s birthday, then to Philly for Thanksgiving, and down south for Christmas.  Grant – who’s in DC doing an internship at the moment, coincidentally enough – and I already have plans to take a ton of ridiculous pictures.  This has renewed my lust for a particular  camera I have my eye on but probably wouldn’t use enough to warrant buying it, sigh.  (Something you may or may not know about me: I have a tendency to lust after strange things sometimes – these are another current fascination – and if the lustiness lasts long enough, I end up caving and buying.  Hence, these, which are, I must say, awesome.)

Okay, I’m babbling.  I should go figure out dinner.  Which, by the by, I have been successfully cooking!  I’m no chef, but I’ve got some staples down and my kitchen confidence is up.  So far so good.

Off I go!

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Filed under budding foodie, Cali, Finn, girlcrush, Grant, nerdiness, QS, Rev, stuff pomegranates like, sunshine, vacation all i ever wanted, WTF

.and another thing.

I’ve been thinking a lot today, as Iowa of all places just showed itself to be more progressive than I ever would have given it credit for, about how to come out to my paternal grandmother.  (Maternal grandma, with whom I am somewhat closer, knows all about the gay and has pretty much always been uber-supportive).   It’s been nearly 10 years, and I’m thinking it mayyyyy be time to let other grandma in on the secret.  And as I was pondering worst-case-scenarios (despite the post-Iowa glow) this thought occurred to me:

So, I know that in not telling her, I am neglecting to give her the chance to know my whole self.  But is it possible, too, that in keeping this information from her I am failing to give her the chance to know her whole self?  What if I – in my hesitation to tell her the truth, out of my own sense of worry and fear – am withholding a moment for her to be loving, tolerant, progressive, understanding?  What if I am neglecting to give her room to be better than I expect?  Better, maybe, than she expects?

Does that sound too… I don’t know, pretentious?  I don’t mean it to be… I just hadn’t thought of coming out that way: as a gift, almost. An opportunity for people to show themselves to be what you’d hoped they would be.  I’m one of those who rarely gives up on people, even when I maybe should, because I always want to leave the door open for them to redeem themselves, to be better than they were.  I can never shut that door.

the day the sun came out

.the day the sun came out.

I’ve come out so many times – still do, so often – that it’s almost rote at this point.  For the most part, I no longer care how people take it, because I know where (almost) all the most important people in my life stand.  But I like the idea of coming out as not just something I have to do for myself, so that I can walk through the world with integrity, but as a moment that can others to do that as well.  What do you think?

On a much less serious note, how fabulous is it that one of the top google searches for people to find my blog is “animals in pajamas”?  Clearly, I am on my way to greatness.

Finn and I have started a contest, for no other reason than we like contests, to see which one of us can read the most pages.  We were inspired by her brother and his wife, who are having a competition to see who can read the most books, but we decided that wasn’t entirely fair since some books are so much longer than others.  (Despite our seeming need for this competition to be entirely on the up and up, we neglected to put a time limit on the thing – no, don’t think about it too much).  Since I’m a faster reader, she gets to count pages from things like the Twilight novels, while I apparently don’t get to count anything not written for grown ups.  Not that I’m sure I even want to venture to read the rest of the Twilight books… I read the first to see what all the hype was about, and I thought I was going to kill myself.  (From a letter I wrote to a friend as I was muddling my way through: “I’m going to try and make it through the first one, but if this whole page-upon-page of desperate fawning and soulful, heavy-lidded glances punctuated by inane teenybopper conversation and thinly veiled shoutouts to the abstinence-only crowd thing doesn’t end soon, I may have to stop.”)  Also, I’m apparently the only person who thinks Edward is a condescending asshole and not dreamy in the least.  That said, I do kind of feel I should give the second book a chance.  (What did I say about my inability to close doors???)

Anyway, I’m currently well into Neil Gaiman’s Anansi Boys, which I think I may have read at some point during high school because the story sounds strangely familiar in parts, and which I’m quite enjoying either way.  (I have a bad habit of forgetting which books I read during high school, as I devoured books at a rate that probably wasn’t entirely healthy.  There was also a summer in college when I worked at the library and wasn’t taking classes or anything, so I ended up reading upwards of 50 books at a pace that has rendered them all one fantastical wispy blur).  I also just finished Stand the Storm by Breena Clarke, which was a pretty wonderful novel about a newly-freed slave family struggling through the pre-and-post Civil-War era.  And next I’m planning on getting into Founding Brothers: The Revolutionary Generation in order to continue to feed my obsession with the Revolutionary War (and John Adams in particular – I may have been him in a past life, actually).  Though I might get sidetracked by World Without End by Ken Follet, because I really enjoyed his Pillars of the Earth and because it’s going to be due back to the library soon.

Okay, this post might have just taken kind of a nerdy turn.  In closing, then, something slightly snarky to up my hipster factor:  I give you Autostraddle’s The L Word WTF?! Video, Part 1.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “L Word Video I WTF?! Moments I Lesbia…“, posted with vodpod

…it’s funny because it’s true.

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Filed under crazy cat lady: ur doin it rite, Finn, nerdiness, politicking, queering the binary, The Fam, vidjas

.the cat’s pajamas.

Or, the obligatory crazy cat lady post.

I never thought I would be one of those horrible cat parents who dressed her animals in outfits.  What can I say… never underestimate the power of cat pajamas.

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Okay, kind of adorable though, right?  They’ve got little back legs and everything!

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Unfortunately, she thinks she’s in a straightjacket when we put her in clothes of any kind, and tends to fall over and just lie there, or stare longingly at raised platforms without making any actual attempt to jump (see i.e., above).

Lest you think I am only a crazy cat lady in regards to the hairless wonder, here’s a portrait of our twins.  (Okay, they were born a day apart, and to different parents, but we think of them as fraternal.)

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Oh hai.

(See the resemblance?)

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.today.

Some things that happened to me today:

  • I went to a hearing before a judge who gave me an incredibly hard time, grilled me for an hour (“Well counselor?  Where does it say X?  Why are you looking through your notes?  Do you or don’t you know the record of your own client?” –  bearing in mind, please, that in a disability hearing the record generally consists of hundreds, if not thousands, of pages of detailed medical evidence) and nearly made my client cry.  He then ended the hearing by telling me that I did a great job and was welcome in his courtroom any time.  It was my first hearing with him… I’m pretty sure that was some kind of bizarre initiation rite.
  • I received my BBO number, which was the last thing standing between me and “official” lawyerhood.  So I’m official.  And I can officially be given the proverbial smackdown if I screw up.  I’m really going to miss the “Oh, don’t listen to me, I’m just an intern” days… ha.
  • Got tagged by my ex-boyfriend (circa high school) in a facebook note, and realized as I went through his profile that I actually miss him quite a bit.  Not in a romatic way, obviously, but he was a lot of fun to be around and I miss his energy in my life.
  • Ate way too many peppermint patties.
  • Got a CVS card after holding out for several years for some unknown reason.
  • Came home and put on a ridiculously mismatched pair of PJs, which I am thinking I might need to change out of if I ever want to get laid again.  At least they’re not my footie pajamas… (yes, I own footie pajamas, they were a Christmas gift from Finn and they are insanely comfortable, but let’s just say that foreplay is not a realistic expectation when I put ’em on).
  • Read this article in the Times about lesbian separatist communities and felt strangely eeked out by the idea.  For instance, take this quote:

BEHIND the gate at Alapine, about five miles from the nearest town in the southern Appalachian mountains near Georgia, the women live in simple houses or double-wide trailers on roads they have named after goddesses, like Diana Drive. They meet for potluck dinners, movie and game nights and “community full moon circles” during which they sing, read poems and share thoughts on topics like “Mercury in retrograde — how is it affecting our communication?”

To me, these women sound like 2nd wave cartoon characters.  They describe themselves as “radical feminist separatist lesbians.”  I can’t help it – I read that and cringe.  And yet… I feel bad about my reaction, because I get where they’re coming from.  I’ve read all the books, I know all the theory.  Hell, I ran a very second-wave-esque feminist organization in college, for god’s sake.  With some distance and time to think, though, it just seems so unworkable.  (And is, actually – the article is about how these communities are dying out because of lack of interest from young lezzies like me.)  Perhaps it makes me ungrateful, perhaps I have been spoiled by my own movement, but I have a visceral reaction to spelling womyn with a y.  And to the ghettoization of queers.  So there you have it.

  • Read this article in the Sun and wondered how many other things the Victorians weren’t telling us… rowr.

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Filed under Finn, lightning and a lightning bug, memories, nerdiness, ohmygod i'm a lawyer, queering the binary, quotables

.weekend update.

Friday night we met several people at Cali’s place for drinks.  It was supposed to be pre-gaming to go out gay lady dancing after, but everyone else who was there decided after a few drinks that they didn’t want to go dancing, so in the end it was just Cali and I who went.  We had a good time – I’ve been feeling much older than my 25 years lately, so it was nice to just go out and drink and dance and not worry too terribly much about being responsible for an evening.  I did, however, end up fairly drunk by the end of the night, i.e. after we closed the place down and the music stopped and the lights came on (sidenote: why do they do that?  It’s such a harsh way to end an evening, watching all the sweaty, flushed people who were just happily bouncing around suddenly looking altogether more haggard, gathering their things under flourescent lights and straggling out into the cold…)

In any case, I woke up yesterday morning with a nice little hangover.  I remember a few years ago when nearly every Saturday and Sunday morning was greeted with the same headache and unhappy stomach.  So perhaps being “responsible” does have its benefits – I certainly don’t miss that.  I was mostly a waste of space yesterday, lots of napping and reading and drinking fluids to recover.  Finn and I were going a little stir crazy by the evening, so we headed to a bookstore to peruse (we’re trying to save money, so no purchasing for us!  …I just love the smell and feel of books) and then home, where I set up my Xbox and we played Dance Dance Revolution for a while.  I know, it’s incredibly nerdy, but it’s a great way to get you up off your ass when you’ve been laying around all day.

And speaking of nerdy, today we’re thinking about going to Old Sturbridge Village which is, ahem, “one of the country’s largest living history museums [with] a large staff of historians in costume, 59 historic buildings on 200 acres, three authentic water-powered mills and two covered bridges. Visitors can ride in a stagecoach, view antiques, heirloom gardens, meet the farm animals, and take part in hands-on crafts year-round.”  I can’t help it, I LOVE people in costume explaining in detail how to churn butter.  I just hope it can live up to Old Salem

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Filed under Cali, Finn, nerdiness