Here are some things that have made this week feel incredibly strange, and me to feel like a bit of a zombie:
- Layoff: made official. I’ve got my job through August, then I’m out. (Perhaps I should be more upset about this – it IS sad, and scary, but I have had a few prospects come my way on the job-front that have softened the blow, at least initially. I’ll keep you posted as to how those turn out, if they do.)
- WHERE THE HELL IS THE BLOODY SUNSHINE? I am tired of walking through dark and stormy soup. And everything feels damp – one of my least favorite things.
- The computers have been down at work all week, so I have billed approximately 1 hour in the last 4 days. The rest of the time has been spent playing games on my iphone.
- I have been having the weirdest dreams lately, about hospitals and love and babies and trees. (Though not all in the same dream). I wake up anxious or confused or, occasionally, quite happy. But I don’t feel like I’m getting much rest.
My worksite has instituted furlough days (one day off per pay period, 10% pay cut) so I’m off today. I ought to be making doctor’s appointments and taking my car for an oil change and doing laundry and buying groceries, but mostly I’m just being a lump on the couch.
My birthday is coming up quickly and I haven’t been even remotely excited about making plans. Last night I was (sweetly) convinced by Gem to have a small get-together at her place, following which we can walk to the fireworks. (No, people don’t just shoot off fireworks for my birthday, though that would be awesome; I’m a 4th of July baby.) All of which sounds good to me. I don’t know, I’m in kind of a bummed place lately because I feel like I don’t have many friends. Everyone moved away post-grad-school, and I lost some of my besties. Of course, the people that I do still have are wonderful, but it’s sad to think about prior birthday celebrations and how this one will be so much smaller. To do: meet new people. And perhaps put forth some effort and reconnect with some folks I’ve lost touch with.
Our landlord wants us to go to a month-to-month lease, on the off chance that his son (who currently lives in DC) loses his job and wants to move back here. Finn and I realllllly don’t want to move when our lease is up this September (especially if I don’t have a job – that’s an awfully large expense if we don’t HAVE to leave) but we’re also not thrilled that we could be kicked out at any moment and have to find somewhere suitable to live in, say, February, when there will be NOTHING decent available. We have an awesome place now, a 3brm house for what most people pay for an apartment, in a very nice town that’s close to Finn’s supervising midwife and a short drive from the train I need to get for work. But Finn is done with supervision end of July, and I won’t have this job end of August. So – no real reason for us to stay here (we’d rather be in the city – especially if I end up getting a job there) except that the place is so big and we’re paying so little for it, relatively. Oh, pros and cons. Thoughts? Advice? We’re kind of in an eagle death roll with this decision.
Okay, up to at least change out of my PJs and pretend to get started on my day… oh god, is this what it’s going to be like if I’m unemployed? Eesh.